Creating a Gameplan for Hard Times: Coping
Here are some strategies for making it through the heavy times. In general, I tend to aim for surviving the hard moments and not trying to fix anything during crises. We can fix most problems when we are feeling better.
It’s important to have strategies that can match the intensity of what you’re feeling. I tend to break them up in green, yellow, and red strategies. But call them whatever your heart desires.
For each level, we are looking to keep you safe, calm the body, and calm the mind. The nice thing about this is that we can often pick strategies that can tackle the mind and the body at the same time. For you and for everyone, I strongly encourage that you customize this template list with stuff you like and works for you. If you try something and it’s not great, we can always retry it again, but it’d likely be better to swap it out with something more consistent.
Our steps will be:
1. Label your feelings
2. Make sure you are in a safe setting (if possible)
3. See how intense things are (green, yellow, red)
4. Follow the strategies you have
GREENS – Do at least 3 of these:
· Deep Breathes
o Inhale through your nose – inhale again through your nose – then breathe out through your mouth. Rinse and repeat at least 10x.
· Go for a Walk
o Getting outside, being in an open space, and walking are wonderful for helping the body and mind to be soothed. Aim for a 10-minute walk.
· Putting Things in Perspective and Self-Compassion
o Notice what you are saying about you or the problem at hand. Are your words giving it too much power? Are they taking power away from you? I ask that you be kind to yourself. A good way to do this one would be to see how you might frame something if a close friend was in the exact same situation. Offer some of that grace and kindness to yourself. I think you deserve it even if you don’t.
· Pets
o Quality time with our pets is another wonderful one. Whether it’s head scratches or simply sitting together, being around them is wonderfully soothing.
YELLOWS – Do at least 2 of these and then 2 of the GREENS after:
· Vagus Nerve
o Here, we want to stimulate a nerve path that runs along our body that calms us when it’s stimulated. There are a few strategies to do so. I attached a word document with more strategies to calm the Vagus nerve, but some reminders for future you about those strategies would be: prayer breaths, cold exposure, ear massage, and lying on your right side.
· Weightless
o Whether it’s headphones or playing the song on a speaker, “Weightless” by Marconi Union has lots of research behind it for helping dramatically reduce anxiety and stress. Listen to it all the way through and you can work on one other step while you listen to it.
· Get it Out
o Whether it’s talking or writing, find someone to share with (pets included) or grab a notebook. Typing is okay, but pen to paper is far better. Write out your thoughts. All of them. This can sneakily help with problem solving later too.
REDS – Decide if the first step is needed. Then, do at least 1 of the others and then 2 of the YELLOWS and 1 of the GREENS after:
The goal here is to buy time. The crisis and what you’re feeling will pass. We just have to get through these moments until they pass.
· Get Help
o If you are not confident you can keep yourself safe, always get help. Please. If that’s calling or texting a crisis line or reaching out to a loved one, it’s so helpful to not carry the weight of what’s going on by yourself.
· Getting Physical
o Find safe physical sensations to help distract you. Two examples could be snapping a rubber band on your wrist or squeezing an ice cube intensely. We are okay with things hurting but don’t want it to harm you. A cold shower is amazing too and helps touch on the Vagus nerve strategy from above.
· Maximum Effort
o Pick a physical activity that you can do with maximum effort. Sprint. If you can think, you can run faster. As a bonus, it will help your body process lots the cortisol and adrenaline that will be floating around in excess, which will make it easier to feel better faster.
Lastly, please don’t rush to get back to whatever you were doing before. Being overwhelmed is physically and emotionally exhausting. Without a break, we’ll be vulnerable to falling right back into a state of extreme stress.
You got this. As a disclaimer, this is a sample template for a coping strategies list. What works for you might look different than what is written above. I encourage anyone to work with their providers to come up with their own safety plan and/or strategies for navigating emotionally distressing times. In the case of an emergency, call 911 or go to your closest emergency room.
Written by Dr. Luke Bieber on July 4, 2025